Last Thursday

everyone in our office and all around London stood outside our office buildings at noon to mark 2 mins of silence to show respect to the lives that we lost only a week before in all the terrible bombings on the tube. It was really moving. I think everyone felt a little bit stronger because of it.

In my spinning class on Sunday morning the instructor arrived telling stories of his exhaustion... he's an emergency services person and was working all through the night still down at Edgeware Road. He had 2h sleep before coming to teach the class... he said that they were all receiving 2 sessions of counseling a day as what they've seen was totally horrific... it's just so so sad. Luckily I had already begun to sweat profusely at this point while listening to his story... sweat very effectively masks tears.

Three more sleeps till I see ze boi and ze family!!!! I don't know why but I'm full of anxiety... amazing how most normal people relax while I'm so uneasy about it for reasons beyond me that I even bolted out of my sleep Saturday night in a cold sweat. I wonder what on earth is going on in my head? I have the fear.

Watched the Royal Tenanbaums on Saturday night as I stayed in... I've finally figured out why I don't like that film... I saw it on the plane over to Canada the day my father died... guess it was just a bit too close to the bone... especially the end scene where Royal dies of a heart attack in the ambulance. But on a positive note... if dad were still alive today he would be 65 today. He would have looked as fab as ever. Still don't quite understand how he didn't manage to outlive us all like we all thought he would... tricky little devil he was. I miss him.